Sunday, January 26, 2014

The importance of silliness - being silly together is the best foreplay

Today is Australia Day. I really don't want to write about it. Three threads come across my various streams: those who call it invasion day and do things like burning the constitution as a symbolic act; those who treat it as a somewhat jingoistic national celebration; and those who just want to party. I suppose I'm with the latter!

So while I won't write on Australia Day, I wish India and Indians a happy India Day. The dates are the same.

In a tweet, @bossy_boots99 wrote "being silly together is the best foreplay." I think that's dead right.

I am, by nature, a fairly  serious person. I can also be very self-absorbed. That's caused difficulties in relationships. That's why being silly together is so important.

When you are being silly with another person or persons, two things happen. The first thing is that you are focused on them, for they are your audience; their responses determine the success of what you do; you move outside your own space. The second thing is a release of tension; laughter breaks out and, if you laugh, balance is restored.

It works at work. Try it sometime. You will generally find that it leaves people feeling better. It might be something as simple as Happy Monday. It might be a simple performance, a slightly exaggerated story or dance.

In personal relations, it breaks through the dross that inevitable gathers around relationships. We become locked into patterns. Being silly can break or at least ease the pattern.The other person laughs and relaxes; intimacy reappears.  

Try it sometime. It mightn't work the first time, but it will work!


Anonymous said...

Floggy rat

Jim Belshaw said...

Quite right, anon!